The Wormwood Letters

I cannot fully say how I came across the correspondence which I am about to share with you; I will only paraphrase what C.S. Lewis once said: mankind commits two chief errors when it comes to the existence of devils -- the one error is to pretend they don't exist at all; the other error is to obsesses over them and try to find them underneath every rock. 

I will also echo Lewis again and say that, since this is a correspondence between devilish tempters, all things must be weighed with a careful eye: the way that Wormwood sees things may not be quite right, but that doesn't mean he's completely wrong.

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My Dear Slothbuckle,

I was quite disturbed by your most recent report, in which you told me with devilish delight that you’ve used the COVID-19 affair to turn your patient’s thoughts to the imminent possibility of his own demise. I can see that a degree from the College of Tempters is not what it once was. You have committed a classic error of junior tempters, one which I hope you can correct before it is too late. As both your uncle and your senior tempter, I shall do what I can to help you in this task.

But first, allow me to show you where you stumbled, so that you may not make such careless mistakes again. 

When you succeeded in turning your patient’s thoughts toward death, you made him feel afraid. In general, we do well to make people feel fear, for fear often weakens the miserable human beings and keeps them from the exercise of virtues such as charity and temperance. But to make our patients feel fear will only serve our purposes when it is applied in the vaguest possible sense. A man should not be able to name his fears; he should only feel what their psychologists call a generalized anxiety. 

For instance, a man who has some hazy and semi-constant feeling of apprehension is less likely to share his bread during a food-shortage crisis, because he is generally afraid of everything. In other words, he fears that anything could happen to him, and so he will do everything within his power to preserve himself. He will think more and more of himself rather than the good of his neighbor. When a man feels this kind of fear, and thus begins to curve in on himself and behave selfishly, he is indeed walking down the gradual slope that leads to the house of our Father Below. 

You, however, have turned this all upside down, because you got your man afraid of something specific: his own death at the hands of a viral disease. Now this did, of course, make him feel more afraid than he has ever felt in his life, which on the surface appeared as a victory for our side -- but in reality, you very likely sent your man in the direction of The Enemy. 

A Desire for Life

Allow me to explain by going back a few steps. When a man feels how utterly powerless he is, he will either terminate his own wretched life, or he will try to turn to something (or Someone) greater than himself for help. While more people in this modern age are opting for the former, there are not yet nearly enough who do so, and so the home office prefers that we not tempt our patients toward specific (and utter) fear and despair -- but that is exactly what dwelling on the reality of death does to a mortal man. It was indeed one of our greatest victories in the last century, when we got the vast majority of “civilized” human beings to perpetually avoid the thought of death at all, save for at funeral homes (and it was just such subtleties as that -- moving funerals from family parlors into funeral homes -- which further cemented this triumph).

But there you went, ignorant of history, yapping like some hairbrained dog and getting your man all riled up precisely with thoughts of his own death! Has the college really gotten that bad at educating new tempters, or are you just that stupid?

The problem, Slothbuckle, is that The Enemy created these putrid human creatures with a genuine desire for pleasure and for life -- and this desire cannot be easily snuffed out. In the case of your patient, the fact that you have made him feel the very real possibility that COVID-19 could kill him will actually serve to awaken his desire to live, and will eventually drive him to the feeling of powerlessness that has so often been the undoing of our fiendish work. Really, Slothbuckle, you’re living into your name. Don’t you remember your studies of The Enemy’s Book? Do you not recall what that wretch named Paul wrote: that when he was driven to despair of life itself, The Enemy used his despondency to teach him precisely to rely on the Son of Man alone? Accursed servant of the Unapproachable Light! His words have been our ruin too many times to number. 

Indeed, if his thoughts are not reclaimed, your patient will undoubtedly turn himself over to the Dread Majesty Above; for he has heard that abominable proclamation of the One who descended to the dead but rose again, the Son of Man who long ages ago harrowed our stronghold, chained many of our comrades in the abyss of gloomy darkness, and made even the grandmaster tempters such as Beelzebul quake in horror. Yes, your man has been told before of this terrible event, and you have so succeeded in terrorizing him with the reality of death, that he may soon turn to the Author of Life and Conqueror of Death unless you act quickly. 

Fears Relocated

What you need to do is relocate his fears to the misty, the abstract, the general (and don’t, for hell’s sake, let him dwell on the fear of losing his job or income, either -- for that would accomplish much the same as getting him to fear his own death). Rather, get him thinking about the general chaos of the world. Whisper into his ear about the potential loss of creature comforts and leisures. Set him in front of the news and social media as often as you can, for they will function as hammers to drive the nails of worry and fret ever deeper into his heart. 

All of these things will make him increasingly nervous, with the added benefit that he will think he can exercise some semblance of control over them. He’ll think that he can insulate himself from the chaos out there by lording over every detail of his home and family (which will also stir up sinful responses in his wife and children, so you really ought to focus on this in particular); he’ll think that he can avoid the loss of his comforts by hoarding away things for himself; he’ll think that he is really able to help other people by posting endlessly on the internet. So long as he never feels abject powerlessness, you may yet deliver him into the arms of our Father Below. 

And also, for the sake of all devils everywhere, you really must keep him away from those Christians across the street. I’ve looked at their files, and they are truly atrocious: his neighbors are the kind of Christians who actually believe the promises of the Almighty One -- and live like it! -- who have weathered hardships and temptations before, and who have only deepened in their love for both God and man as a result. Curses and abominations! The thought of such chaste, happy, self-denying, purified, virtuous, forgiving, patient, and kind human beings is really enough to make me vomit. There they are, living their lives with a ridiculous smile on their faces, exuding a joy not of flippancy or ignorance, but of the indomitable kind that only comes from being in communion with the Terrible Sovereign of Heaven. If only they had been born 1800 years ago, I would have incited some Roman official to throw them to the lions! I would have seen those pompous people torn limb from --

[Here the writing enters into an indecipherable tongue, and resumes below]

Well, Slothbuckle, I seem to have lost myself in the heat of the moment, and have transformed into a bat as a result (my own uncle Screwtape would often change into a centipede when he got flustered). I am dictating the final portion of this letter to my secretary. 

I hope that I’ve made things abundantly clear to you: make sure that your patient’s fears are vague, and do all that you can to keep him away from the Christians. If your education in temptation was so poor that you can’t think of any practical ways to do this, I will advise you on specifics in my next letter. 

And one more thing: if you think you’ll be able to avoid the inevitable punishments for your failures up to this point, you're sorely mistaken -- we’ve all got to take our lashes and learn for our failures, you know. And if you should fail to make your already-scheduled appearance to the home office in some pitiful attempt to avoid chastisement, rest assured that you will only make things worse in the future. We don’t let others stand in our place and bear the punishment for our misdeeds -- for that, my dear Slothbuckle, is The Enemy’s policy.

Signed,
Gallthorn

In service of
Wormwood
Order of Senior Tempters, Chair of the Cabinet of Deceit