Dealing with Disappointment

I just finished counting all my life’s disappointments.  They add up to 1,413,342!  OK, I didn’t actually tally them – but after living half a century, that number may be fairly accurate. People who I once called true friends but turned out to be false allies; sports teams I followed with enthusiasm all year but let me down in the postseason; jobs that promised fulfillment but instead felt empty and meaningless.  And, perhaps topping all our lists -- let’s just say: “2020 into 2021” – there wouldn’t be enough internet to contain the list of disappointing twists and turns that our world experienced this past year.

My community has recently been rocked by a high school senior lost to suicide.  A crushing disappointment, to put it mildly – both for that prominent family, and so many students.  We’re all hurting.  How on earth can we deal with it?  To be honest, if it weren’t for God – I personally couldn’t.  If I felt that this brief earthly life was all there was -- I’d go stark-raving mad by the constant disappointment, where it seems we reside more in the valleys than the mountaintops. 

The Dissonance

The reason we feel the dissonance of disappointment is because our souls are all hard-wired by God to live in a perfect universe.  All life’s disappointments are constant pangs of those unmet, righteous expectations – reminding us that we are not “home” yet!

In the beginning, God created our world perfectly, and he designed it to be a place where there was only love, joy, and happiness 24/7/365.  But when he created Adam and Eve in abundant love, and charged them to rule the world as his viceregents, he placed them between two trees and gave them a choice – to follow his commands, or to reject him. So we could choose whether or not to obey him and love him – and tragically, we chose disobedience. Thus sin, and with it disappointment of the highest order, came into the world.

When Thoreau famously said, “men lead lives of quiet desperation,” he was absolutely correct.  Most people spend a lifetime seeking life’s meaning.  We see disappointments and misery abounding in our homes, schools, churches, political systems – and can wonder, “what’s the point?”

Leaning in Faith

As a child, I was so blessed to discover that meaning we all seek in the deepest part of our heart -- when I first heard the good news that faith in Jesus Christ saves us.  I found the purpose for this brief existence is to discover how much God loves us, to trust in Jesus as our Savior and live for him as our Lord.  When I first trusted in God for my salvation, I also received the antidote for enduring this life – using God’s strength every day, even when my own fails me. 

The Psalmists wrote, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”  And also, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

Life’s disappointments can cause us to lean into God more than ever.  Paul wrote the Roman Christians, “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”  All things – that includes both good things and bad things, are part of God’s master plan to help a believer, in both tangible and unseen ways.

There was a popular Christian song years ago, to which some of the lyrics went: God is too wise to be mistaken… God is too good to be unkind (Lord knows he is kind)… so when you don’t understand, when you can’t see his plan, when you can’t trace his hand, trust his heart.

Jesus himself never promised that this life would be easy, as he experienced pain and hardship himself -- even being God’s Son!  But Jesus modeled endurance for us, and also described the wonders of Heaven that await all who have trusted in him.  Jesus’ brother James wrote in the Bible that life is a vapor that appears for a little while then vanishes.  We can endure the disappointments in this life, by knowing the best is yet to come.  Until that day, we can trust God’s strength will get us through life’s valleys – because his caring and loving heart provides the solid foundation to help us endure disappointing times, as we hopefully await brighter tomorrows.